Wednesday, December 17, 2008

New Beginning

I have started a new blog for another project I am working on. Please go to: Ryan tries to be a Novelist. I would be very grateful for your comments and support.

Monday, September 29, 2008

coming through the ear buds

I've grown weary of new music, largely, and I have been looking backwards more than forward. I am really enjoying The Four Tops. Anyone would recognize a number of their songs, like 'Reach Out I'll Be There' and 'Get Ready.' I've always liked my music thick, and this old Motown stuff has the kind of broad arrangements I'm so easily pleased with. There are instruments beyond guitar, bass and drums, believe it or not. Great music. However, I did run into some 80's Four Tops stuff that was completely wretched in its synthesized god-awfulness.

Some newer music that I'm crazy about right now:

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

I don't work there anymore

Hey I quit Comcast, and I couldn't be happier about it. Just thinking that I don't have to go back there makes me smile. However, I did get benefits, and I'm stockpiling insulin. Also I broke my tibia longboarding and I've had to get some care for that, so I'm making them pay for the time I put in one way or another.

I'm working at a residential youth center down the street. My commute will go from 45 minutes by car, to 5 minutes by bike. That's awesome, but the money isn't. My personal family unit may double in size next year, so finances are a concern of mine these days. I guess I should stop answering all my job interview questions by flexing my bicep, but I mean, check this out... (wait I guess you can't see that.)


This is what I'm reading right now. It's incredibly funny, really. But it's just not that good. Read it if you want to have a laugh and don't mind egregious use of the 'f' word. I'll explain to the most innocent of you what the 'f'' word is in a future post:

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

It's not really all that Comcastic.

I'm still looking for work, but in the meantime I'm answering the angry phone calls of Comcast subscribers. Then when they think they have hung up but they haven't I listen to them argue with their spouses (standard or common-law). I'd blog more about this, but I have been instructed that blogging about my job there is not prudent.

The corporate world is incredibly lame. If I am going to sneeze between the hours of 5 and 6 I have to fill out a 'Health Accommodation Action Form' or HAAF. The movie 'Office Space' was never funnier or more depressing.

Having diabetes is like having a child. I'm tied down now. I'd happily shag golf balls for minimum wage while looking for a job that doesn't make me want to hang myself if I didn't have to get medical benefits. But my pancreas is about as good at producing insulin as SunnyD is at producing refreshing beverages, so can you tell me Who do you use for your home phone service? Did you know that by bundling you can save $75 on your monthly bill?

If anyone from Comcast is reading don't worry, I filled out the Blog Information Release Allowance Form,' or BIRAF.

Friday, June 27, 2008


Let me say, in all honesty, that I am very excited to see this movie, and I will see it, which creates a certain level of hypocricy in this post.

I just find a little irony that this is a movie about an Earth that has been killed by consumerism, yet WALL*E has had the feces marketed out of it and toy shelves are overflowing with merchandise.

Truth is in 5 years official WALL*E merchandise is going to be filling landfills, such as; backpacks, binders, pens, pencils, pencil cases, pencil sharpeners, pencil boxes, pencil erasers, boxers, briefs, footy-pajamas, mustache wax, personal lubricant and industrial strength wood sealant.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Friday, May 16, 2008

My last post was fairly depressing, if not true. And I don't have an awful lot to blog about these days, so I would rather something else hung out on the top of this page for a long time.
Something like this:

Duracell Batteries.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

I need a job.

If you can help me somehow thanks in advance.

I have created an exercise for anyone who is thinking about earning a degree in English.

1. Create a resume with your English degree listed under 'Education'
2. Create a resume, but skip step'1'
3. Do you see a difference in your two (2) resume's? Employers don't.

I am interested in communications, advertising/marketing, education, social work, writing, second base for the St. Louis Cardinals or anything that would allow me to be creative, work with people in some significant way, or allow me to manage my fantasy baseball team all day.

I need something that has medical benefits to support this expensive insulin habit I have developed.

I'm also interested in positions (even beyond the interests listed above) that will help me pay for more schooling where I will earn a degree that someone gives a damn about.

I can live for free in Portland and Seattle (which is important to me right now), but really I just need to find work anywhere.

Being back in the States is alright. Looking for work sucks.

So, who do I sleep with?

Monday, April 14, 2008

Vietnam Farewell Tour

Parting gifts for the monkeys and bears of Dam Sen Park

Ha Long Bay was beautiful and spooky.

Ben Tre was a peaceful, quiet place. I stayed in the middle of the jungle.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

I'll explain later...

This is what I look like right now. Photoshop makes this picture less frightening to you initially, but I assure you from deep within the bowels of my hideous smile, this is genuine.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Friday, March 14, 2008

Grabby McGrew and the Power Gangers

There is this girl in one of my classes that hangs off me like a koala on a eucalyptus tree or a neck tie on a diabetic Oregonian in Saigon. She is one of those 9 year-old girls that usually acts like a cat. When she stands up form her desk I hear the music from 'Jaws' and desperately try to escape, but usually she catches me anyway. When I walk by her desk I try to make a really wide arc, but it hardly ever stops her--Grabby McGrew has mad grabbing skills.
I like my students. I just don't like being a coat rack where my students are coats.
One good thing about Grabby McGrew is her classmate's backpack:

There is no power in gangs. I am sick of having to fight that false and dangerous sentiment among my dear Vietnamese students. Gangs are bad.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Air Bud: Sepak Bow-Wow!

I don't know what you're favorite Air Bud movie is, there are like 8 to choose from. I guess my second favorite would be 'Air Bud Spikes Back'--the volleyball one. I say second favorite, because my primary favorite is the one I am presently writing the script for, 'Air Bud: Sepak Bow-Wow!' It's based on the obscure SE Asian sport of Sepak Takraw.
Actually I just wanted to play around with GIMP. It's basically free Photoshop. I realize my skills need development, but I just wanted to give it a quick try, and I was very happy with it. It's available on PC and Mac. I've been using a bit of open source Software lately, including the Thunderbird email client and Open Office for word processing. I think it's a good idea to support the creators of this software.

Thursday, March 6, 2008


Monday, March 3, 2008

Go Cardinals! No to Morons!

Anyone that knows anything about me knows that I love the St. Louis Cardinals at unhealthy levels. What you should also know is the level at which I enjoy this picture, which is high to quite high. I've never been prouder to be a Cardinals fan:

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Diabetes Pros

There are a few positives about having diabetes. Firstly, my pancreas is more special than your pancreas. But it is not special in its abilities, but rather 'special' in its inabilities.

Anyone that has ridden in a car with me in the past two or three years is perfectly aware that until recently I have needed to pee every seven minutes (okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration, let's say six and-a-half). It turns out my insatiable thirst was directly related to diabetes, and perhaps pre-diabetes (but I'm not sure if type 1 diabetics go through pre-diabetes). Since I started insulin my thirst has subsided as has my contemplation of getting my own personal catheter. The long bus rides I had recently in Cambodia were incredibly more tolerable than the ones I had in Laos the same time last year, when I was seriously considering peeing in my water bottle. Also last summer in Portland one time I ended up peeing on the side of building--like a drunk or homeless guy or like a drunk homeless guy--in perfect daylight and was happy not to get cited by a police officer.

Since I started insulin I have gained 5 kg. I have always been very skinny, and I have always hated being very skinny, and I have always blamed being very skinny for my inability to attract girls. The very skinniness is also related to my diabetes, so now I can gain some wait and some confidence, but on the downside I will have to face the real reasons girls don't like me--like my caustic bitterness, immaturity and the way I'm always asking them to make me a sandwich or why they are not presently making me a sandwich.

Also there is a certain level of vindication that comes with my diagnosis. I have been a bit sickly the last few years, and when I haven't been able to wake up in the morning, or I have had to call in sick to work or miss class, I have always thought that I was just a wimp, but it turns out that I was actually a wimp with undiagnosed diabetes. I seem to be sleeping less/requiring less sleep already.

Also, if someone really irritates me now, i can say this:
'I'll dia-beat your ass!'
(patent pending)

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Ho Ngoc Ha

I know everyone has been checking my blog every few minutes to see when I would write about the Ho Ngoc Ha concert I went to a couple nights ago, and I will make you wait no longer. I went with some friends to check out a concert, and Ha was the headliner. She's an actress/singer/model; basically she's like Paris Hilton, that is if Paris Hilton wasn't a waste of organs bone and flesh and wouldn't run over her own grandmother to make sure people are talking about her and also was the least bit attractive or talented.
So I'm not crazy about Vietnamese pop music but it was fun to experience a show like this. There were about six acts altogether and my favorite was this guy who was wearing a mesh shirt and dancing like Usher and Michael Jackson had somehow had a Vietnamese baby (I wouldn't put it past them). He had some sweet moves. I was sincerely impressed.
One group performed Brittany Spears' song 'Toxic.' I never liked the song until I heard it sung by APO- a Vietnamese pop group of four girls, but now I still don't like it.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Funny Websites

First and foremost I would like to thank everyone for their zero (0) comments on my trip and pictures to Cambodia.
There is an information super highway full of lame stuff that's supposed to be funny, but some posters on my Cardinals message boards clued me into these two that actually made me LOL.


This site is a little ironic but very funny. I found my self to be a white person a number of times. There are entries about Yoga, Hating their Parents, Wes Anderson, Independent Music, Assists, Awareness, Farmers' Markets, Architecture, David Sedaris,; Great Stuff: Stuff White People Like
"Also, you might find yourself in conversation where you mention that you like something and there is an awkward silence indicating that it is not cool (like Ashton Kutcher). In this situation, uou must say “oh yeah, I also like [insert similar things]” and smile, the white people will laugh and all will be well."

To a white person, being a fan of a band before they get popular is one of the most important things they can do with their life. But BE WARNED, talking about Indie Music with white people is perhaps the most dangerous subject you touch upon. One false move and you will lose their respect and admiration forever. Here are some general rules
  • Bands that have had their songs in an Apple ad are still marginally acceptable
  • Bands that have had their songs in ads for other companies are not acceptable
  • If you mention a band you like and the other person has heard of them, you lose. They own you. It is essential that you like the most obscure music possible."

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Internet Jukebox

Search and play most anything you want here:
As a laugh I looked up and they had all sorts of Young M.C. Not just 'Bust a Move' and 'Princpal's Office,' but also 'Fastest Rhyme' and 'Got More Rhymes.' This is important stuff from my childhood.

"I got more rhymes than the other guys do--they're just the monkey I'm the whole damn zoo."

Tuesday, February 12, 2008


The faces of Bayon temple have been smiling for 800 years or so.

Ta Phrom. Angelina Jolie found one of her babies in here.

Climbing Phimeanakas Temple; making sure dorky hat stays on.

Dorky hat; 1,000 year old temple.
One time the guy sitting next to me on the plane was so fat he had to eat off of my fold down tray. But I'd say this baby sitting next to me on the way to Siem Reap was even cuter.

My visit to the Killing Fields was harrowing.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

I just finished reading Volume I of Bob Dylan's Chronicles. In the name of Objectivity (I know in my autobiography I'm going to man the first successful blimp mission to the moon, shortly after freeing the Jews from Auschwitz) I usually avoid autobiographies, but I felt perfectly comfortable reading one by Dylan--primarily because I wanted to see how he strings words together. It was a nice read. It was interesting to read about his journey to become Bob Dylan as we know him, which interestingly enough, is not someone he necessarily wants to be.
The parts I appreciated the most were his discussions of his own creative processes. I also liked hearing him talk about other artists like Robert Johnson, Johnny Cash, N.W.A. and a hundred people I''ve never heard of but now want to. One particular chapter is the story of how he created an album, and reading about the pushing and pulling between himself and his producer was quite interesting.
Today celebrities seem to be dying for an opportunity to tell us who to vote for or what kind of (hybrid) car to drive. Just because they can sing or act real good they think it is there duty to go on cable telvision talk shows and tell us how to live our lives. I guess they feel they are in a position to spark change, and I suppose they are, relative to my own position, at least, but they all seem so out of touch. They want to be what Dylan was and didn't want to be. It was interesting that Dylan was never interested in being a voice of protest. He struggled under his label as a voice of a generation and did things (like recording strange albums and acting eccentricly in public) to shed that label.
Anyway, anyone the least bit interested in Dylan or his songs should read the book. Martin Scorcese made a documentary 'No Direction Home' that sort of plays as a companion piece, and the film is very good as well and allows you to hear the music.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

It hasn't taken me long to learn the basic rule of diabetes is 'if it's the least bit desirable, you can't eat it.' So I have been finding other ways to indulge myself, by watching a lot of the Oscar nominated movies--and I write about a few of them here.

'The Assassination of Jesse James By the Coward Robert Ford'- Brad Pitt has a long history of long boring movies; 'A River Runs Through It,' 'Legends of the Fall,' 'Meet Joe Black,' 'Seven Years in Tibet.' Yes they're all long and boring, but also pretty good. So is this one.
For all the crap Ben Affleck takes, his little brother can act a little.
This movie is visually beautiful, and I wasn't surprised to see that the cinematographer was Roger Deakins, who I know from the Coen Brother's movies that always look different but awesome.

'Atonement'- The twist ending is laughably stupid.

'No Country For Old Men'-
I haven't seen 'There Will Be Blood' (looking forward to it), or 'Michael Clayton,' but I have a hard time imagining either are better than 'No Country.' I really liked this movie, not only because Josh Brolin gives it a 'Gooinies' connection, but also for some brilliant dialogue, and the performance of Javier Bardem, who I didn't know before this film. Like 'TAOJJBTCRF,' the pictures are
very beautiful.

'Juno'- Like 'Little Miss Sunshine' last year I'm really happy it was nominated for best picture, but only because I know it won't win. The director also did 'Thank You For Smoking,' which I would recommend.

'Once'- The movie is pretty good. The soundtrack is awesome.