Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Diabetes Pros


There are a few positives about having diabetes. Firstly, my pancreas is more special than your pancreas. But it is not special in its abilities, but rather 'special' in its inabilities.

Anyone that has ridden in a car with me in the past two or three years is perfectly aware that until recently I have needed to pee every seven minutes (okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration, let's say six and-a-half). It turns out my insatiable thirst was directly related to diabetes, and perhaps pre-diabetes (but I'm not sure if type 1 diabetics go through pre-diabetes). Since I started insulin my thirst has subsided as has my contemplation of getting my own personal catheter. The long bus rides I had recently in Cambodia were incredibly more tolerable than the ones I had in Laos the same time last year, when I was seriously considering peeing in my water bottle. Also last summer in Portland one time I ended up peeing on the side of building--like a drunk or homeless guy or like a drunk homeless guy--in perfect daylight and was happy not to get cited by a police officer.

Since I started insulin I have gained 5 kg. I have always been very skinny, and I have always hated being very skinny, and I have always blamed being very skinny for my inability to attract girls. The very skinniness is also related to my diabetes, so now I can gain some wait and some confidence, but on the downside I will have to face the real reasons girls don't like me--like my caustic bitterness, immaturity and the way I'm always asking them to make me a sandwich or why they are not presently making me a sandwich.

Also there is a certain level of vindication that comes with my diagnosis. I have been a bit sickly the last few years, and when I haven't been able to wake up in the morning, or I have had to call in sick to work or miss class, I have always thought that I was just a wimp, but it turns out that I was actually a wimp with undiagnosed diabetes. I seem to be sleeping less/requiring less sleep already.

Also, if someone really irritates me now, i can say this:
'I'll dia-beat your ass!'
(patent pending)

4 comments:

ThE RaSmUsSeN's said...

you should write a pamphlets for people who get diagnose with diabetes. Only you can mak it sound like a cool thing to have!!!
and for the girls, I suggest asking them to bring you a drink before you ask for the sandwich, it's a little less commitment, taste the waters before you dive in...

Wyatt said...

Yeah, that artesian well of urine was somewhat annoying. Glad to see you're using a larger camelback -so to speak.

Anonymous said...

That's very interesting information, Ryan. I'd venture to guess there is a pre-diabetes to Type 1 since you have so many symptoms that have been reduced or alleviated with healthier levels of insulin. I'm glad to hear you are doing better. And all those girls don't know what they're missing. ;o)

AJ said...

Ryan,
I was living with a roommate when this exact thing happened to her. She was a water bottle stealer and was always in the bathroom and lost a lot of weight. She also lost her vision for a few days and that was really scary. Anyway, she likes to call it Liveabities. She is also going to write a book titled 'Lizards with Liveabities.' I will let you know when it is published.