Funny Websites

First and foremost I would like to thank everyone for their zero (0) comments on my trip and pictures to Cambodia.
There is an information super highway full of lame stuff that's supposed to be funny, but some posters on my Cardinals message boards clued me into these two that actually made me LOL.


Fail

This site is a little ironic but very funny. I found my self to be a white person a number of times. There are entries about Yoga, Hating their Parents, Wes Anderson, Independent Music, Assists, Awareness, Farmers' Markets, Architecture, David Sedaris,; Great Stuff: Stuff White People Like
"Also, you might find yourself in conversation where you mention that you like something and there is an awkward silence indicating that it is not cool (like Ashton Kutcher). In this situation, uou must say “oh yeah, I also like [insert similar things]” and smile, the white people will laugh and all will be well."

"To a white person, being a fan of a band before they get popular is one of the most important things they can do with their life. But BE WARNED, talking about Indie Music with white people is perhaps the most dangerous subject you touch upon. One false move and you will lose their respect and admiration forever. Here are some general rules

• Bands that have had their songs in an Apple ad are still marginally acceptable
• Bands that have had their songs in ads for other companies are not acceptable
• If you mention a band you like and the other person has heard of them, you lose. They own you. It is essential that you like the most obscure music possible."

Internet Jukebox

Search and play most anything you want here:
songza.com
As a laugh I looked up and they had all sorts of Young M.C. Not just 'Bust a Move' and 'Princpal's Office,' but also 'Fastest Rhyme' and 'Got More Rhymes.' This is important stuff from my childhood.

"I got more rhymes than the other guys do--they're just the monkey I'm the whole damn zoo."

Cambodge

The faces of Bayon temple have been smiling for 800 years or so.

Ta Phrom. Angelina Jolie found one of her babies in here.

Climbing Phimeanakas Temple; making sure dorky hat stays on.

Dorky hat; 1,000 year old temple.
One time the guy sitting next to me on the plane was so fat he had to eat off of my fold down tray. But I'd say this baby sitting next to me on the way to Siem Reap was even cuter.

My visit to the Killing Fields was harrowing.

I just finished reading Volume I of Bob Dylan's Chronicles. In the name of Objectivity (I know in my autobiography I'm going to man the first successful blimp mission to the moon, shortly after freeing the Jews from Auschwitz) I usually avoid autobiographies, but I felt perfectly comfortable reading one by Dylan--primarily because I wanted to see how he strings words together. It was a nice read. It was interesting to read about his journey to become Bob Dylan as we know him, which interestingly enough, is not someone he necessarily wants to be.
The parts I appreciated the most were his discussions of his own creative processes. I also liked hearing him talk about other artists like Robert Johnson, Johnny Cash, N.W.A. and a hundred people I''ve never heard of but now want to. One particular chapter is the story of how he created an album, and reading about the pushing and pulling between himself and his producer was quite interesting.
Today celebrities seem to be dying for an opportunity to tell us who to vote for or what kind of (hybrid) car to drive. Just because they can sing or act real good they think it is there duty to go on cable telvision talk shows and tell us how to live our lives. I guess they feel they are in a position to spark change, and I suppose they are, relative to my own position, at least, but they all seem so out of touch. They want to be what Dylan was and didn't want to be. It was interesting that Dylan was never interested in being a voice of protest. He struggled under his label as a voice of a generation and did things (like recording strange albums and acting eccentricly in public) to shed that label.
Anyway, anyone the least bit interested in Dylan or his songs should read the book. Martin Scorcese made a documentary 'No Direction Home' that sort of plays as a companion piece, and the film is very good as well and allows you to hear the music.

It hasn't taken me long to learn the basic rule of diabetes is 'if it's the least bit desirable, you can't eat it.' So I have been finding other ways to indulge myself, by watching a lot of the Oscar nominated movies--and I write about a few of them here.

'The Assassination of Jesse James By the Coward Robert Ford'- Brad Pitt has a long history of long boring movies; 'A River Runs Through It,' 'Legends of the Fall,' 'Meet Joe Black,' 'Seven Years in Tibet.' Yes they're all long and boring, but also pretty good. So is this one.
For all the crap Ben Affleck takes, his little brother can act a little.
This movie is visually beautiful, and I wasn't surprised to see that the cinematographer was Roger Deakins, who I know from the Coen Brother's movies that always look different but awesome.





'Atonement'- The twist ending is laughably stupid.






'No Country For Old Men'-
I haven't seen 'There Will Be Blood' (looking forward to it), or 'Michael Clayton,' but I have a hard time imagining either are better than 'No Country.' I really liked this movie, not only because Josh Brolin gives it a 'Gooinies' connection, but also for some brilliant dialogue, and the performance of Javier Bardem, who I didn't know before this film. Like 'TAOJJBTCRF,' the pictures are
very beautiful.



'Juno'- Like 'Little Miss Sunshine' last year I'm really happy it was nominated for best picture, but only because I know it won't win. The director also did 'Thank You For Smoking,' which I would recommend.




















'Once'- The movie is pretty good. The soundtrack is awesome.

A few days into type 1

Today my loving mother talked to a diabetes nutritionist and then told me about the insulin pump, which will allow me to avoid shooting myself up with needles, and more importantly will allow me to eat a lot more like normal. Too bad it doesn't keep you from being a mediocre Major League pitcher, or Jason Johnson might still be throwing for the Tigers. Also it holds 0 mp'3's which is a serious disadvantage. Word has it the 25th Gen iPod will pump insulin, but by then McDonalds will have gallon fountain drinks and America will be so fat that they will have to pump insulin between the Sprite and Mountain Dew.

Currently I'm shooting up insulin the junkie way five times a day. I also prick my finger twice a day and run my blood through a little cell phone sized device to test my blood glucose.

There are certainly disadvantages to being in 'Nam as a new diabetic. I won't be able to get that pump here. There are no nutrition labels on the foods here. In the grocery store there isn't an entire row of low carb, sugar free foods here that I could close my eyes and almost pretend are Oreo's. I have seen nothing sugar-free besides gum and milk (I'm going to bring sugared milk back to the states with me for those that just don't get enough breakfast sugar in their Lucky Charms).

However, there are certain advantages to being on the Mekong with a sugar processing disfunctional pancreas as well. If I were uninsured in America all the medical stuff would cost me more. Also the price of produce is very low.

I'm lucky to have found a decent doctor who can I can communicate with easily.

Diabetes: Not Just For Fatties

Yesterday I went to the doctor because my penis (That's right I said penis. Penis, penis, penis. Grow up!) hurt. The good news is I don't have syphilis.

I called my mom from the doctors office. And she got all nosy like mother's do. Get this: she asked me 'How are you?' Geez, what's with the 9th degree (what the hell does this phrase mean anyway?), Ma? What's next mom?Are you going to ask me if my penis hurts?

Anyway this is how it went.

Mom: How are you?
Ryan: Diabetic

And I wasn't joking. The Doctor found ketones in my pee.

^Me: Ketones!? So Tom Cruise isn't full of crap!

Vietnamese Doctor with excellent English: You're thinking of 'thetans,' and yes Tom Cruise is full of crap. Have you seen 'Top Gun,' that movie's lame even by Vietnamese film standards.

Me: So I won't have to go to Venus for re-implantation?

Doctor: Ehh... no.
^the conversation may not have gone exactly like this, however the first conversation is word for word

After the ketone discovery the doctor took my blood and found a lot of sugar in it. (Here I was thinking about making a 'because I'm so sweet' joke here, but decided it was too lame.) It had little to do with how nice I am to everyone, but much more to do with the diabetes I have.

I asked about ten different ways if the results could be an anomaly, caused by something else, or if the doctor was reading them upside down, but at the end of all the follow-up tests I had diabetes. Full on.

I have type 1 diabetes, most likely. So I'm going to have to prick my finger to test blood sugar and shoot up insulin several times a day. Today I shot up for the first time, and I gotta say I believe injecting yourself is easier than having it administered. The anticipation factor isn't there.

Good bye (I'm tearing up):